Collaborating with a sexologist

Collaborating with a Sexologist

I conducted the first three focus group discussions on my own. While the sessions went well, I felt there was room for improvement, especially when it came to addressing misconceptions that arose during the discussions. Around this time, I reached out to Sensoa, the Flemish expertise centre for sexual health. They introduced me to Evelien Luts, a brilliant sexologist who immediately expressed interest in my research topic.

Although I hadn’t initially planned a collaboration, after speaking with Evelien, it became clear that working together would add immense value to the research. Evelien brought not only her expertise in sexual health but also her experience in facilitating open, informative conversations about sensitive topics. Together, we organised four additional focus groups: one with 18–20-year-olds, one with recent mothers, one with men, and one with women aged 50 and above.

An Eye-Opening First Session

Our first session together was with 18–20-year-olds, and it was a transformative experience for me. In the focus groups I had conducted on my own, my primary goal had been to collect data. While I did address misconceptions that came up, I often felt unsure of how to handle them effectively. I worried that I might come across as overly "preachy" or awkward, which wasn’t the tone I wanted to set.

With Evelien, it felt completely different. We quickly developed an organic and natural rhythm during the session. Whenever we reached the end of a discussion topic and were about to move on to the next question, I would turn to Evelien and ask: “Before we move on, would you like to address what was said about [topic]?” For example, during this session, one of the young women mentioned that pain during first sexual intercourse was “normal.” Evelien then stepped in to explain why this isn’t true, breaking it down in a clear and compassionate way.

She shared how pain is often a sign that the woman isn’t fully relaxed, that her pelvic muscles are tense, or that more time and foreplay might be needed to help her feel comfortable and properly aroused. She explained this in such a relatable and professional manner that it put everyone at ease and encouraged further questions.

The Value of Collaboration

It wasn’t that I didn’t have the same knowledge as Evelien—I was familiar with the facts—but her experience and natural way of explaining these things made a big difference. Having distinct roles in the session also worked well: I, as the researcher, guided the questions and discussions, while Evelien, as the sexologist, provided expert information. This dynamic not only kept the session flowing smoothly but also created a safe, informative space for the participants.

Participant Feedback

The young women in the session were particularly grateful. Many said they had learned more in this one session than they had during their school sex education classes. They appreciated the openness of the discussion and the opportunity to share their experiences in a non-judgmental setting.

Several participants commented on how much more comfortable they felt compared to their school classes. They noted that their usual teachers often seemed uncomfortable or awkward about the subject, which made the lessons feel stilted and less helpful. By contrast, they valued having facilitators who were confident and knowledgeable about the topics and who created an environment where they could ask questions and be heard.

A Step Toward Better Conversations

This session reinforced for me how important it is to create spaces where people—especially young women—can talk openly about their experiences and receive accurate, empathetic information. Collaborating with Evelien not only enriched the data we collected but also demonstrated how combining different skill sets can make research more impactful and meaningful for participants.